So here’s the deal:
The recent “Frog On Bench” clip art I used to write this strip inspired a rant about how I can’t help but wonder if the piece was ever used to advertise a church bake sale somewhere in Iowa. This, after some thought, gave me an idea.
Do you think you could come up with a one-page advertisement for a church bake sale using royalty-free clip art of an excessively creepy shabbily-dressed amphibian? This is your chance.
Here’s the image:
Right-click it, save it, and make the world tremble with desire for your baked goods. Upload it somewhere visible (I can’t host your stuff, sorry – try Flickr or something) and post a link to it in the comments right here on this page. Me and a small team of judges will pick the best few, and PartiallyClips readers will have a chance to vote on their favorite.
The winner of this final vote will receive a glorious PartiallyClips prize package consisting of:
- A copy of the Suffering For My Clip Art: The Best Of PartiallyClips book, signed by Rob Balder
- A copy of Worm Quartet’s “Mental Notes” CD, signed by me
- A batch of homemade cookies baked by my wife, for use in your bake sale or for your own personal consumption (unless postal regulations or prices make sending baked goods to the winner’s country prohibitive, in which case a picture of me eating the cookies and looking grateful will be substituted.)
RULES:
- You may enter as many ads as you want
- The ad must be in .JPG or .GIF format.
- OKAY, FINE, YOU CAN USE .PNGs TOO. Gawd, you PNG-lovers are worse than Mac users, Intellivision owners, and Beta video tape devotees put together.
- The church and baked goods in question may be fictitious, but the ad must be for a church bake sale of some sort. A serious degree of leniency will be granted regarding what qualifies as a church.
- The ad must be hosted somewhere online and linked here (please do not e-mail the ad to me)
- I reserve the right to alter these rules in response to comments with deliberately-misspelled profanity.
- Rob Balder is not eligible to win
The deadline for submissions is May 9th, 2010, and the contest staaaaaaarts…NOW!
-=ShoEboX=-
DON’T PUKE
http://i39.tinypic.com/34ffnkx.jpg
I hope the book prize is not another dictionary…
I present the Hobo Frog Bakesale:
http://yfrog.com/bhhobofrogj
Cookies? Not a pie?
I have to admit that this is kind of derivative… actually, it’s a lot derivative… but I just couldn’t resist, once I’d thought of it.
http://i208.photobucket.com/albums/bb152/million_zillion_ninjas/misc/bake_sale.jpg
You can hardly mention freaky frog people and organised religion in the same breath without a certain early 20th century American horror writer coming to mind for at least some of us, so yeah:
http://i43.tinypic.com/5xpnhy.jpg
I rather enjoy the idea that even though it is an esoteric cult of eldritch monstrosities it is still largely run by mild-mannered elderly ladies and gentlemen who thinks that advertising in Comic Sans is a great idea for making young people think church activities are “cool”.
I still think it’s missing something, but this is what I came up with.
http://i44.tinypic.com/kce9kx.jpg
Million Zillion,
nice!
====
Okay, and now for my take on it. It’s the most obvious, if not too topical, joke.
http://i580.photobucket.com/albums/ss243/BLANDCorporatio/BakeSale.png
Oh wait, I’m an idiot.
There’s gotta be a church in there somewhere right? Okay … so by way of implication here’s a different take:
http://i580.photobucket.com/albums/ss243/BLANDCorporatio/BakeSalev2.png
Still in PNG format because frankly fsck you, what’s wrong with PNG?!
Be enraptured!
http://tinyurl.com/y4gta8r
I’m a preacher’s kid. Yeah, I’ve definitely seen clipart that bad and worse used for everything under the sun. So I could immediately see exactly how some well-meaning but slightly demented dear would use that exact clipart in flyer form. Here’s the image that popped into my head:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/neoepiphany/Miscellaneous/Frogsale-1.jpg
here
here is what I originally sent to ShoEboX in response to his partiallyClips:
BakeSale
I couldn’t Stop with just one, but 5 may be too many? Hope I’m linking These right?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/49630028@N08/4544995477/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/49630028@N08/4544995535/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/49630028@N08/4544995603/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/49630028@N08/4545628390/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/49630028@N08/4545628484/
Second attempt (now that I know there’s a contest).
Bake Sale II
So. Much. Win.
I Couldn’t Stop at Just 5. So here’s 3 More. I Thinks Thats all….
http://www.flickr.com/photos/49630028@N08/4546851567/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/49630028@N08/4546851747/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/49630028@N08/4547486748/
Merry X-Mas!
uh, happy Chinese new year?
Looking through these, I didn’t see any “Catholic priests are child molesters” jokes (though I might have missed it) so I made my own:
http://yfrog.com/espervofrogj
For my second entry, I realized there is at least one celebrated Biblical event that prominently features both frogs and baked goods.
http://i208.photobucket.com/albums/bb152/million_zillion_ninjas/misc/bake_sale_passover.png
BTW, this is loaded with Jewish in-jokes. If you’ve ever left a glass of wine out for Elijah, then you’ll get it.
Wish I had the ability to make one of these. Million zillion’s Passover Bake Sale is the best so far to me.
Thanks, WildCard (and BLANDCorp for your earlier comment).
Making images like these isn’t nearly as difficult as it might seem at first. I use GIMP (open source, any platform) for image editing and… that’s it, really. Just learn to use layers – which is intuitive enough – and you’re golden.
FWIW, Ruthie’s entry is one of my favorites in the bunch. If there are any points given for actually looking like a well-designed (and yet, horribly punned) bake-sale flyer, she’ll run away with it. All I’ve done is drop funny text boxes on a white background.
… Of course, it occurs to me now that “funny text boxes on a white background” is kind of a popular genre on this site, so I guess we all have a fighting chance, don’t we?
Million zillion: now this will sound a bit petty, but I think that adding graphic zazz is … ya know … cheating. This is partially clips, let the clipart and text tell the story. So your entries are safe for high points, and in particular the Jewish one is great!
And one comment here (I think also yours) inspired this quick-take:
http://i580.photobucket.com/albums/ss243/BLANDCorporatio/BakeSalev3.png
Heh. Well, I don’t know about cheating, but I’ll agree that creativity is probably a higher rank here than graphic artistry… which was sort of my original point before I veered off track (specifically, that you don’t need 1337 skillz to download an image editor and make something neat). I guess I’m just easily swayed by the pretty pictures…
Incidentally, whenever I see/hear/write the words “baked goods”, I think of a line from The Tick vs. The Breadmaster (in which the Tick and Arthur are attacked with baguettes or something):
“Not baked goods, chum – baked bads!”
I haven’t found the right frog angle for it, though, so I thought I’d just throw it out here in the open.
My third and final attempt.
Bake Sale III
I certainly wasn’t trying to cheat by adding “graphic zazz.” Mine was different for two reasons. One is that, like I said, even before there was a contest, I had a very clear vision of how that particular clipart would be used to advertise a church bake sale. I attempted to reproduce that vision faithfully, and, yep, it had color and too many flashy fonts, and innapropriate baked goods. (Incidentally, I was trying so hard not to cheat that I used the ugly smiling cupcakes because they were the only clipart I had to hand that I made myself. Using anything else felt like cheating.)
The other reason is that… well, that’s just me. I like my work to be technicolor and splashy and a wee bit nutty. And I didn’t see anything that said I should try and match the partiallyclips style, so I used my own. I kind of thought that there might be a little more diversity of style, since I read the challenge more as asking for our own personal takes on how it could be used. As it’s turned out so far, I stick out like a sore thumb, but I still like what I made, and I still think it’s at least as funny as some of the other entries, with or without relative levels of zazziness.
Incidentally, BLANDCorporation, even though you called me a cheater, your second entry still makes me lol when I read it.
I hope this works….
http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/aa4FRdrNUy-GLp2kYPTApA?feat=directlink
@MooseDrool: Everybody Loves Hypnotoad!!!
Now you need to make that into an animated gif that flashes a “subliminal” message every few seconds. ^_^ Or wait – maybe you already did… O_o
@Ruthie: ShoEboX definitely did not specify anything about style for this contest, so I’d say that anything goes. Mostly, I was impressed by the fact that your entry actually looked like something that you might see on a church bulletin board (if the head of the Ladies’ Auxiliary was both highly motivated and far enough off her rocker). Which is part of what makes it funny.
Probably Last One. There’s gotta be a better ending to this one, just couldn’t come up with better. Open to suggestions.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/49630028@N08/4556554752/
@Million Zillion You Asked For It
Truthfully, I didn’t know about hypnotoad until your link.
Looking back, I didn’t notice that you had already made one similar to my second entry. Silly me.
Your passover bakesale is a riot. Makes me want matzoh (subliminally).
Okay, last one for me….
http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/KQ0Fw0DfccIF2fV7zTpq0g?feat=directlink
@MooseDrool: Similar to your BakeSaleII.jpg, with the “magic box” line? I like it for pushing the “excessively creepy” angle, but I really don’t see the similarity to either of my entries (aside from the choice of clip art!). Maybe you’re thinking of BLANDCorp’s “Hey kid. Want some brownies?” one?
And I assure you, your appetite for matzoh will end when you realize that you have four full boxes left (because you bought the big case of five thinking you needed enough to last a week) and now you’ve got a whole lot of dry and crumbly sandwiches left to eat… But hey, that’s what matzoh brei is for.
BTW, what’s your address? I feel like I’m supposed to send you something…
@Million Zillion: You’re right, it was BLANDCorp’s post, sorry.
Matzoh brei looks…uh….tasty. I assume you have some leftovers?
@MooseDrool: Eh, it tastes better than it looks. Imagine French toast made with unsalted crackers instead of bread.
@Kel: Your first ad is probably the most subtle one so far, and it was definitely worth the time and thought to let it sink in. Bonus points for extra pathos.
jingle all the way….
Had another idea.
I considered going the black-and-white route, but doggone it, I just think it’s more fun when they look more “done.”
Hope you enjoy it.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/neoepiphany/Miscellaneous/Frogsale2.jpg
..and by “more fun”, I mean more fun for me to make, btw. Not trying to insult anyone else’s excellent submission, because there is nothing but good stuff here.
@Ruthie: Don’t ever change – that was excellent. You started with a good (and new) connection between the required elements, and the colors just enhance that.
I guess a church would know something about redemption for past mistakes, but not usually ones that involve salmonella…
irt. Million Zillion:
Oy, don’t explain the joke! As the immortal Mark Twain once said (very apropos): “to explain a joke is like disecting a frog: you understand it better, but the thing is dead now”.
irt. Ruthie:
Ah, don’t worry about online codgers. And it’s rather difficult to get the proper tone of something through text alone, you cheeky cheating chromatic character you.
Hugh Hefrog will judge your muffins
He looks like Hugh dontcha think? That clammy creepyness and slimy smirk?
Last-minute entry!!!
And possibly the most dangerous, because this image will surely bring the wrath of
Tom CruiseHe-Who-Must-Not-Be-Mocked down upon us all. Be forewarned – merely looking at this entry may make you vulnerable to litigation!http://i208.photobucket.com/albums/bb152/million_zillion_ninjas/misc/bake_sale_scientology.png
Ruthie better win this one.
I think that Ruthie’s first one should win. Those cupcakes were perfect.
Guys – Sorry for the delay on the voting! We’re working everything out, it’ll be soon!!!
-=ShoEboX=-
This has nothing to do with the contest (obviously, since it’s over) but I was just struck with inspiration and wanted to share… there’s a huge backstory in my head to this one, but all I can really say other than what’s in the strip is that the frog sounds like Richard Pryor as “Mudbone”.
http://executivepagan.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/kermit_cousin.jpg