Plenty of people complain about costumes, plenty of people claim about early Halloween sales, but I’ve never heard anybody complain about the concept of savings being “scary,” despite the fact that when mid-September hits, my inbox is generally full of sale ads claiming that their temporary price reductions are just that. A friend of mine DID recently bitch about the “FALL into great prices!  RAKE in the savings!” ad they received, and I was able to inform him that such emails are AUTUMN-atically sent to my spam folder, ba-dump bump, but the concept of “scary savings” isn’t even a pun – it’s a claim that the low prices a store is advertising will frighten you.

I don’t know about you guys, but I have never been frightened by savings.  Never have I looked at a weekly flyer from CVS and torn my eyes from my skull with my bare hands, oblivious to the pain as I babbled incomprehensibly, struggling in vain to return to the bliss that had been my life before I knew the horror of buy-one-get-one-half-off store-brand cashews.  What’s more, the stores aren’t actually expecting this reaction, nor, I think, are they really even aware that this is their claim.  They’re just lazily using an adjective associated with a holiday, and doing so with little more thought than a misused “literally.”

You want to frighten me with savings?  Offer me a $2.99 lobster dinner, or a “free condoms with purchase of any Milk-Bone product” coupon.   I wouldn’t necessarily flee in terror from either of these offers, but an eerie discomfort would be a given, and backing away slowly would certainly be a strong possibility.

MRS. SHOEBOX’S REACTION TO TODAY’S STRIP:  *Looks at me, looks at strip, looks back at me*  You’re wacky.