Ordering Soda

And we’re back to guest art!  This incredible illustration is from Jami(e) Naguchi of Angry Zen Master, one of the regulars at our Washington Webtoonists group.

So, of course, I wrote this one in a restaurant.  I did it as a clipless script, sprung almost fully-formed after a server at another table said the “is Pepsi okay?” line.  I did tweak it a lot.

When I passed the script and description to Jami, I said:

The scene is a restaurant.  A married couple in their early 50s is at a table and a waitress is taking their order.  The waitress looks slightly perplexed and taken aback, looking at the husband.  The wife is looking at the waitress, and seems a bit weary.  The husband is the key comic figure.  He is in a dinner jacket, no tie, hair just slightly out of place…and a crazed and distant look in his eyes…pleading, desperate, maybe a little bloodshot.  He’s looking at the waitress, but kind of looking through her.

Now, I love this art and it fit the script and description of what I wanted beautifully.  But Jami made a surprising (to me) choice of having this be an interracial couple.  That’s great, because it’s something you NEVER see in a clip art collection.

But it does draw some focus away from the crux of the joke, I worry.  In the end it has no bearing on the gag that this man is African-American.  It’s beside the point, which is good for its own reasons, I suppose.  But is the reader left wondering at the end if there is a tie-in?  If you were, there isn’t.

But just to make sure there was no such connection implied, I made one change to the script.  ”Satan’s unholy veins” was originally scripted “Satan’s black veins.”


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