There are, in fact, Arctic adventure cruises on ice breakers in Finland and a few other places. This despite the fact that ice breakers are notoriously unpleasant and uncomfortable to ride in. They actually work by having a flat keel, charging up onto the ice ahead, and letting the weight of the boat crush it. Over, and over, and over… Still, for some reason, I think it’d be a pretty cool trip. They give you snowmobiles and take you out, and put you in the puffy orange body suits and let you swim in the arctic water. I wonder if they’d let me take a wooden bureau so I could play Titanic.