I mentioned trying to write this strip in the 2004 Dragon*Con Report, and that Tom Smith took a crack at writing one on this template.  I’ll assume it’s okay with Tom and share that here in the commentary.

PANEL 1
NO, YOUR EYES AIN’T DECEIVING YOU.
I AM INDEED A LEPRECHAUN.  AND THIS IS ME STASH O’ GOLD.

PANEL 2
NOW, YE MOIGHT BE THINKIN’, “AH, HE’S JUST A LITTLE GUY.  I BET I COULD BACKHAND THAT SHRIMP OUT OF HIS SHOES AFORE HE SAYS, ‘PLEASE DON’T HURT ME, SIR!’”
WELL, CONSIDER ONE THING, BOYO.

PANEL 3
I’M LUGGIN’ A SACK O’ GOLD WITH ONE HAND.
ALSO, ME DRUNKEN CRANE TECHNIQUE IS THE TERROR O’ U.F.C.